Give me a pile of money and endless opportunities to indulge my every whim, I would jump on a Japan-bound plane to learn Ikebana, the art of flower arrangement.
I've always had a thing for flowers.
When I was a kid, we had a florist on the ground floor of our building. I remember walking down the long hallway of fridges, pressing my nose against the glass, dreaming of big castles filled with tulips, peonies and ranunculus.
This time of year is my favorite time for flowers... nothing amazes me more than spring bulbs popping up in everyone's front yard. I HATE YELLOW TULIPS, they're the worst.
A few years ago, armed with my drunken sensibility, I became the Tulip Burglar. On my way home from the bar, I picked one tulip out of each garden- as to not stir any suspicion. Pretty clever eh?. The next morning, I awoke to a pounding headache and the most beautiful arrangement and variety of tulips I had seen since my early florist drooling days. I was a genius. I continued for a few nights until the guilt ate me up inside and I had no more vases left to fill.
So now you all know my big dirty secret. I am the tulip thief that ruined your garden 6 years ago! i regret nothing.