Filing Cabinets

I saw this secret up on PostSecret and it triggered something inside.

I have a filling cabinet inside my head. This is the area of my brain where I cram all the things I don't want to deal with, can't confront and/or scare the shit out of me. Sometimes, the filling cabinet is too full to slam shut, and sometimes it's empty. It's been more or less empty since motherhood; I guess I don't really have time to really think about anything.
But this week, it's been acting up. Maybe it's the weather, or maybe it's just me, but I've been thinking that I'm not doing enough. That I'm not creating anything. That I should be doing more. That I should be finishing projects that I've started instead of jumping on new ones. That I should be finally renewing my license. That I should be getting social insurance numbers for the boys. That I should be washing the sheets more often. That I should be on the computer less. That I should soak dry beans instead of buying cans. That I should be better about all the recycling, not just the recycling in the kitchen. That I should be blogging about things 'that matter'. That I should be flossing daily. That I should call my brother. That I should be a better friend. That I shouldn't be so hard on Bruno. That I should take better care of my plants. That I should have kept in touch.

But then I say to myself I'm doing the best I can. And I think I'm doing an ok job. The social insurance numbers will just have to wait.


missweb said...

I think you are SUPER woman even if you don't! I admire how much you do and don't know many like you. I feel like the luckiest mommy in the world to have found you as my first mommy/baby friend. I was really alone before you came and you and your family will always have a special place in my family's heart! You're doing a great job at being a friend to me and my family. Thank you!

Aimée said...

Not pregnant by any chance,are you? :)

Emeline said...

NOT PREGNANT. Am still dealing with semi-newborn sleepless nights! And it's the full moon, or the new moon. Whatever moon is making me crazy!
Thanks Cara, such sweet words... you know how it is, sometimes it's all just too overwhelming!

peeps said...

those are very similar thoughts to the ones that run around in My brain... i'm so unoriginal :)