Beat Her Like a Lady

Reprinted from Harper's November 2008 Issue :
From a television program aired last year in Saudi Arabia and Kuwait during which (...) young men were advised on how to discipline their wives.

Beating in the face is forbidden. Even if you want your camel or donkey to walk faster, you are not allowed to beat it in the face. (...) If a husband says to his wife "Watch out, the child has fallen next to the stove," and she says, "I'm busy"- then the husband should beat his wife with a toothpick or something like it. He should not beat her with a bottle of water, a plate or a knife. Notice how gentle the toothpick used for beating is- this shows you that the purpose is not to inflict pain.(...) A donkey understands nothing but beatings, but to a wife, a light beating conveys, "Woman, you have gone too far".
NOTE TO SELF:
Remove all toothpicks from home.
Get donkey